A large number of children’s alleged “naughty” practices are formative and human. (Preschool in Rego Park)
Here are 10 ways kids may seem like they’re acting “naughty,” but really aren’t. When we recognize kids’ tough behaviors as reactions to environmental conditions, developmental phases, or our own actions, it lets us respond proactively, and with way more compassion.
1. Not Controlling Impulses
Have you ever said to your child, “Don’t toss that!” and they simply toss it in any case? Look into recommends that the mind areas required in discretion are juvenile during childbirth and don’t completely develop until the finish of youth, which clarifies why creating poise is a “long, moderate process”. A current review uncovered that many guardians expect kids can get things done at before ages than youngster advancement specialists know to be valid. For instance, 56% of guardians felt that kids less than 3 years old ought to have the capacity to oppose the yearning to accomplish something prohibited, though most youngsters don’t ace this expertise until age 3 ½ or 4 (ZERO to THREE, 2016). Advising ourselves that children can’t generally oversee motivations (on the grounds that their brains aren’t completely created) can move gentler responses to their conduct..(Preschool in Rego Park)
We take our kids to Target, the park, and their sister’s play in a single morning, and inevitably see meltdowns, hyperactivity, or outright resistance. Jam-packed schedules, overstimulation, and exhaustion are hallmarks of modern family life. Research suggests that 28% of Americans “always feel rushed” and 45% report having “no excess time” (Robinson, 2013). Kim John Payne, author of Simplicity Parenting, argues that children experience a “cumulative stress reaction” from too much enrichment, activity, choice, and toys. He asserts that kids need tons of “down time” to balance out “up time” (Payne, 2010). When we build in plenty of quiet time, play time, and rest time, children’s behavior often improves dramatically.
3. Core conditions
Ever been “hangry” — angry because you’re hungry — or completely out of patience due to sleep deprivation? Little kids are affected 10-fold by the “core conditions” of being tired, hungry, thirsty, over-sugared, or sick. Kids‘ ability to manage emotions and behavior is greatly diminished when they’re tired. Many parents also notice a sharp change in children’s behavior about an hour before mealtimes, if they woke up in the night, or if they are coming down with an illness. Kids can’t always communicate or “help themselves” to a snack, a Tylenol, water, or a nap like adults can.(Preschool in Rego Park)
4. Expression of big feelings
As adults, we’ve been taught to tame and hide our big emotions, often by stuffing them, displacing them, or distracting from them. Kids can’t do that yet. Janet Lansbury, early childhood educator, has a great phrase for when kids display powerful feelings such as screaming, yelling, or crying. She suggests that parents “let feelings be” by not reacting or punishing kids when they express powerful emotions.
5. Developmental need for tons of movement
“Sit still,” “stop chasing your brother around the table,” “stop sword fighting with those pieces of cardboard” “stop jumping off the couch.” Kids have a developmental need for tons of movement. They have a tremendous need to spend time outside, at parks, ride bikes and scooters, do rough and tumble play, crawl under things, swing from things, jump off things, and race around things. Instead of calling a child “bad” when they’re acting energetic, it may be better to organize a quick trip to the playground or a stroll around the block.
6. Developmentally-wired to resist and become independent
Every 40- and 50-degree day resulted in an argument at one family’s home. A first-grader insisted that it was warm enough to wear shorts, while mom said that temperature called for long pants. Erik Erikson’s (1963(Preschool in Rego Park)) model posits that toddlers try to do things for themselves, and that preschoolers take initiative and carry out their own plans. Even though it’s annoying when a child picks your tomatoes while they’re still green, cuts their own hair, or makes a fort with 8 of your freshly-washed sheets, they’re doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing—trying to carry out their own plans, separate, make their own decisions, and become their own little independent people.
7. Core strengths that trip them up too
We all have core strengths that trip us up too. Maybe we’re incredibly focused, but can’t transition very easily. Maybe we’re intuitive and sensitive, but take on other people’s negative moods like a sponge. Kids are similar – they may be driven in school, but have difficulty coping when they mess up (e.g. yelling when they make a mistake). They may be cautious and safe, but resistant to new activities (e.g. refusing to go to baseball, (Preschool in Rego Park)). They may live in the moment, but aren’t that organized (e.g. letting their bedroom floor become covered with toys). Recognizing when a child’s hard behaviors are the flip side of their strengths—just like ours—can help us react with more understanding.
8. Fierce need for play
Your kid paints her face with yogurt, wants you to chase her and “catch her” when you’re trying to brush her teeth, or puts on daddy’s shoes instead of her own when you’re racing out the door. Some of kids seemingly “bad” behaviors are (what John Gottman calls) “bids” for you to play with them. Kids love to be silly and goofy. They delight in the connection that comes from shared laughter and love the elements of novelty, surprise, and excitement. Play often takes extra time and therefore gets in the way of parents’ own timelines and agendas, which may look like resistance and naughtiness even when it’s not. When parents build lots of play time into the day, kids don’t need to beg for it so hard when you’re trying to get them out the door.
9. Reaction to parents’ moods
Multiple research studies on emotional contagion have found that it only takes milliseconds for emotions like enthusiasm and joy, as well as sadness, fear, and anger, to pass from person to person, and this often occurs without either person realizing it (Goleman, 1991, Hatfield et al., 2014). Kids especially pick up on their parents’ moods. If we are stressed, distracted, down, or always-on-the-verge-of-frustrated, kids emulate these moods. When we are peaceful and grounded, kids model off that instead.(Preschool in Rego Park)
10. Response to inconsistent limits
At one ball game, you buy your kid M & Ms. At the next, you say, “No, it’ll ruin your dinner,” and your kid screams and whines. One night you read your kid five books, but the next you insist you only have time to read one, and they beg for more. When parents are inconsistent with limits, it naturally sets off kids’ frustration and invites whining, crying, or yelling. Just like adults, kids want (and need) to know what to expect. Any effort toward being 100% consistent with boundaries, limits, and routines will seriously improve children’s behavior
(Preschool in Rego Park)
Source : https://goo.gl/6WFmot
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